april2001

This spring, as the flowers have started to bloom, our family has also witnessed God's loving hand as our daughters have "blossomed" and grown since last fall.
   Jessi is fast approaching her 6th birthday next month. It's hard to believe she is growing up so fast. The past month has brought the most noticable change - she lost her first tooth! I think Jessi was anxious to join the "lost tooth club" at school, because her tooth was barely loose in January. She sure looks older with that space on the bottom. Jessi has also grown academically over the past few months. She decided she wanted to learn how to read. In less than a week, she was reading "Level One" books by herself. Now she is reading "Level Two" books, as well as parts of the newspaper and my shopping lists! I guess I better not write down anything I plan on getting her for her birthday.
   It is amazing to watch Jessi grow and mature, but there are also harder times. Since starting school last fall, Jessi has become more aware of Becky's limitations. As a mother, it hurts me to watch Jessi struggle with this. She seems confused when she sees one of her friend's little brother/sister walking when they are only one-year-old. Jessi also has a hard time dealing with Becky's therapy - especially when we work on things at home. There are times when Becky is less than cooperative (screams and cries as loud as she can). During these times, Jessi has occasionally gone to her room and cried. She even went through a phase where she was pulling her own hair out! The hair pulling has since stopped, and Jessi is learning how to talk about how certain things make her feel.
   Home therapy is the biggest emotional struggle for me right now. I hate to cause stress for both girls, but I also want to do as much as possible to help Becky grow and develop. The Lord knows when things build up too much, though. He continues to watch over us and guide our family through the rough spots. I don't know how I would get through life without Him.
   Becky turned three in January, and the changes since then are remarkable. She has grown into quite a little chatterbox with an extremely vivid imagination. Her language and cognitive skills continue to be her strong point (testing 6 - 7 months advanced for her actual age). I love to listen to her talk to her dolls and sing songs. "Jesus Loves Me" is my favorite. Every time she sings, "...little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong..." I am reminded of how little she was at birth, and how His strength and love sustained her life.
   When Becky turned three, she out-grew the state's infant program for special education. Mark and I struggled with where to send her to school - the state's special ed. preschool (most of the kids are nonverbal), or a regular preschool. At first we were going to send her to both schools, but we decided that would be too much for her. After much prayer, we enrolled her in the regular preschool. Physically she has difficulty keeping up with the other kids, but cognitively she is on the same level as most of them, and she is starting to come out of her shell and interact more with the other kids.
   Becky has shown MUCH improvement since last fall - she took her first indepentent steps, she is potty trained, she walks all over the place with her walker, she is more steady on her feet. But, as she gets older, the impact of her cerebral palsy is becoming more and more noticable. Especially at preschool. What most of the kids in her class are able to accomplish in 5-10 seconds may take Becky 3 - 5 minutes to do. They other day I was the "helper" and I watched Becky playing on the teeter-totter with three other kids. When the others were done, they stood up, got off the teeter-totter and ran to play with other toys. Instead of going over and picking Becky up, I sat and watched to see what she would do. It took her over 4 minutes to get herself off the teeter-totter. That was one of the days I went home and cried after preschool was done. I wondered if we had made the wrong decision by sending her to the regular preschool. God is so good, though! He already had everything taken care of. This past week, the school found a volunteer helper/aide to assist Becky. Once again, God proved that He is in control, all we have to do it trust and follow Him.
   Becky stills has many doctors that she sees. In January, she had her first post-operative hip x-ray. Unfortunately, the x-rays showed NO IMPROVEMENT in her hips since she had the surgery last August. Both hips are still 30% subluxed (dislocated). We go back again this summer for more x-rays. For now, the orthopedic surgeon said to not worry about it, that this is quite common. Reflux is also something that Becky continues to struggle with. She managed to stay off prevacid for almost five months, but this past week she began having problems again and was complaining that her tummy hurt, so she is back on it. Her eating has greatly improved, though. As of this month, Becky weighs 27 pounds and is 37 inches tall. That puts her on the charts at 25% for both! She looks a lot healthier than she did 18 months ago. The added weight and growth have helped Becky's lungs to grow also, and they don't bother her as much when she gets a cold. However, I am starting to notice other problems. Now that Becky is more active, she gets short of breath a lot faster. Her favorite thing to do at the grocery store is run as fast as she can (yes, she runs with her walker!!). Once she's going really fast, she picks up her legs and scoots down the aisle. By the time she gets to the end, she is huffing and puffing and coughing. But, as soon as she catches her breath, she heads to the next aisle to do it all over again.
   Becky also continues with her many different therapy sessions each week. She receives physical therapy two times a week and occupational therapy once a week. I am planning on adding aquatic therapy (swimming) soon, and when the weather warms up more, we will start riding horses again. Becky is showing small improvements each week. Most of them aren't "major" things, but instead she might show improved balance, stand with her legs a little straighter, sit in the correct position without slouching, take off her own shoes, (put them back on!!), attempt to take her own clothes off, etc. A lot of these things sound very basic or minor, but they are major events at our house. Each tiny improvement is one step closer to more independence for Becky. As anyone with a three-year-old knows, independence is the name of the game. "I do it myself. You don't help me, Mom" is a phrase I hear over and over each day. Unfortunately, Becky isn't able to do everything by herself and that causes many "attitudes" in our house - especially if Jessi is the one who helps her. Ah, the joys of sibling "love".
   No update would be complete without letting you know how Mark and I are doing and how we deal with the continued stress of raising a special needs child. First of all, Mark and I continue to be drawn together because of this experience. The Lord knew what He was doing when He brought Mark and I together. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, Mark is the person I want to talk to. I find comfort knowing that he worries about the same things I do. Mark and I have each found our own "outs" and hobbies to relieve some of the stress. Mark bought a race truck and runs a few races each year. The girls think the race truck is the coolest thing (personally, I think it's quite ugly), and I enjoy going to the race track to watch him race. Mark and I also go to the local races a few times a year to cheer on one of his friends. I have found that sewing is very relaxing for me. After the kids are in bed, I will sit and work on a quilt I started making when Mark and I were first married. This is the same quilt that helped me keep my sanity while I was on bedrest in the hospital the last fews weeks of my pregnancy with Becky (I finished piecing it together while I lay in bed). It consists of 1004 hexagons and is entirely sewn by hand. I'm happy to say that I am almost halfway done with the quilting and anticipate finishing it before this time next year!