march1998

Today is the day Becky was supposed to be born. I thought I would be upset, but I'm not. I stand in awe of the powers of my Lord. It's hard to comprehend all the miracles He has performed since I first became pregnant with Becky. In my wildest dreams (or worst nightmares), I never could have imagined half of what we have been through.
   The first few days after Becky came home were rough. Mark and I only got 1 - 2 hours of sleep a night! Becky was on a strict feeding schedule. We set an alarm clock and had to wake her up every three hours to eat. Most of the time she ate good, but occasionally she would vomit her entire bottle, and we would have to start over. Each bottle was measured in how many cc's or ml's she drank, not how many ounces. Becky has increased from 40cc (1 1/3 oz.) to 55 cc (almost 2 oz.) per feeding, and she has gained over one pound since she came home two weeks ago. She weighs 5 lb. 13 oz.!! That's the size of a small newborn. She is doing wonderful!!
   Becky's oxygen needs have decreased a lot since her discharge. Yesterday she had a doctor's appointment, and Dr. Smith told us to start taking her off the oxygen for an hour a few times a day as long as her O2 saturations are fine. Each day we can increase the amount of time she is off oxygen. Within the next month, Becky should be completely off oxygen!! It will be nice to carry her around the house without tubes and wires - sometimes we get all tangled up! When I think back to how severe Becky's lungs were those first few weeks of her life, I am amazed at how well she is doing. She truly is a gift from God.
   Jessi is doing good, too. She came home one week ago and met her sister for the first time. She sat on the couch next to Daddy, and he helped her hold Becky. Jessi looked at me and said, "Is this my baby? Where's yours? Where's your baby?" Mark and I laughed. Jessi held Becky for a few minutes. She sang to her and gave her a hug and kiss. Unfortunately, Jessi woke up the next morning with a fever of 102, stuffy nose and a cough. We packed her up and shipped her back to Kim and Greg's house until she got better. I felt HORRIBLE!! I felt awful for sending my child away when she was sick. I'm her mother! I should've been the one taking care of her!! I was also terrified that Becky might get sick. Dr. Radecki, Becky's neonatologist, warned Mark and I how serious a cold could be for Becky. Her lungs still have a lot of damage, and a simple cold could end up as pneumonia with Becky in the hospital on a vent - or worse! God watched over both our girls, though. Becky never got sick, and Jessi moved back home yesterday afternoon. Our family is finally back together after 127 days!
   When I think back over the past four months, it's hard to believe everything that happened. Jessi adjusted to the sudden changes better than a two-year-old should have. I know God gave her the peace and understanding she needed. Becky shouldn't even be here. I don't know why God allowed her to live, but He must have special plans for her. Already, she has brought many people closer to the Lord - including me. My relationship with God has strengthened because of the complications with my pregnancy and Becky's premature birth. I have experienced Him like never before. There were times when I was frustrated at all the problems we faced, but I never turned away from God. Instead, each trial and complication taught me how to rely on Him a little more. Becky's future is still uncertain, but I know we will get through it with the Lord's help. He is always with us, and I praise His name!